A Day Outside of Time - Silent Ritual for Deep Restoration
We are aware that time is relative, and yet we feel it passing nonetheless. If you feel that time tends to slip through your fingers or that you never get enough of it, I would like to offer up a practice that allows us to reclaim and deeply question how we relate to time. Wintertime is a perfect space to drop into a bit of timelessness, and enter into deep rest.
The Industry of Time
The history of how we relate to time is fascinating, and boils down to the need for industry to manage large groups of people in a strict fashion. The scheduled and recorded workday became normalized during the Industrial revolution. The synchronization of clocks around the world did not even happen until the advent of railroad travel, and the need for a cohesive schedule for people to follow in order to support railroad companies.
As for as human history goes, the way in which we relate to time is relatively new. As a result, we can find ourselves mindlessly carried along tracked patterns of being that are not natural to us, feeling that it has always been this way, but in reality these patterns are artifices created for the convenience of corporate structures and have little to do with the health and wellness of our bodies and spirits.
The pressure of time tends to manifest in us as an emotional or mental un-wellness, feeling rushed, anxious, rebellious, stressed, controlling, and generally frustrated and constrained. It feels like time for the things we deeply care about escape us, and somehow the day is filled with things that do not fulfill us at a deep level. Addressing this takes deep work, a willingness to no longer be a victim to perceived obligations, and the strength to be with oneself and all the feelings we repress throughout our busy lives.
The Practice
I would like to share with you a practice I have found to be incredibly valuable for cultivating a better relationship with myself and allowing emotional restoration and mental clarity.
It will look very different for you depending on your living situation. If you live alone or in a quiet household where you are more or less free to direct your days, it will look more like what I describe below. If you are living as a caretaker for others, or with small children or infants, the practice will need to be adjusted.
If a whole day is not realistic for you, I invite you to consider adapting this practice to your needs, and consider taking at least "a morning outside of time" or making it a family event, where the whole family frees themselves from the need to be anywhere at a certain time and follows the natural rhythms of the youngest members without expectation or coercion.
I invite you to consider this ritual as a way to bring intention and self-care into the portion of your life spent within the four walls of your home. I have found this practice to provide space for reclaiming deep parts of myself that have felt lost or fractured, experiencing emotions I avoid, experiencing profound relaxation, as well as finding that beautiful, beautiful light within myself that deeply cares for me and always has. So, without further ado...
A Day Outside of Time
Select a day in which you can realistically release yourself of any outside obligations and speak as little as possible. The first part of this practice is laying down a hard no to any interruptions. Notify anyone who may expect to have access to you at all times that you will be unavailable for these 24 hours. Ask for support if you have children, elderly parents, etc. that another person can look after them so you can engage in this practice. If this is not possible, include them in this practice.
The Night before:
Block all clocks. I mean allll of them. The stove. The microwave. The wall clock. Cover them with paper, turn them over, whatever. Also, this means turning off any alarms you may have.
Turn off all your communication devices. Phones, tablets computers, televisions. Technology is ruled by time. All devices have a clock. All videos have a measurement of length. All social media has information on time and dates of each posting. No devices.
Before you go to sleep, set an intention for the next day. What is it you are seeking? Space to rest? Space to feel your feelings fully? Space to move to your own rhythms? Go to sleep knowing that you will wake up whenever your body decides to.
On The Day:
Wake up naturally.
Speak as little as possible.
Eat when you are hungry. Drink when you are thirsty.
Follow your curiosities.
Have comfort objects nearby. This is a deep practice and certain anxieties might arise. If they do, cuddle up in a comfortable place and focus on your breathing. Go outside and lay belly down if you can. Allow your mind to let go. Feel the anxiety until it naturally dissipates. A gift will always follow. Be there for yourself.
Indulge in little luxuries you don't normally make space for, whatever this means to you.
Have a journal on hand to record any ideas, emotions, visions, or prose that may arise.
Go to sleep when you are tired.
The next day:
Integrate. Have a calm day. Slowly return to your regular obligations. Speak about your experience with a trusted person if this feels useful. Alternatively, treasure the day spent with yourself, holding your experience in your heart like a precious jewel.
Set aside a 2 hour date with yourself within 2 weeks to go over what came up that day. Decide if any realizations can be incorporated into your life. Commit to any changes you would like to make.
My hope is that this outside-of-time ritual can help you get a breath if you feel like you have been treading water. I also hope that you can have space to question how you choose to spend your time, and can empower yourself to stop the victim-recital of "I just don't have time for that". You are the author of your own life. Also, as a paradox, I want to acknowledge that this practice is a privilege. I invite us all to examine how we could provide community support for others to engage in this practice without financial loss or undue stress upon their families.
Please share with us your questions, stories, or experiences in the comments below!
In Love,
Susan Marie